Gay Marriage. Proposition 8.
These are both very heated subjects here in the state of California. It was the same way back east when both Vic & I lived in Massachusetts. Yet, gay marriage was passed and the bigoted religious establishments failed. They lost because people in that state saw right through their cover "protect the institute of marriage between and man and woman" as nothing more than hate speech. Will it work over here in CA like it it did in MA? We'll see.
Whatever your stance is on gay marriage, I just wanna say to all gay folk reading this: THIS IS A CIVIL RIGHTS ISSUE. This is not about money. It is not about benefitting. We need this simply because we need the same protections that the heterosexuals take for granted every day.
A national HATE CRIME bill is NOT enough.
It amazes me how the same pathetic religious organizations that were planted back east in MA are trying the same vile, hypocritical tactics here. WOW.
Religion is a poison. No matter how good the intentions seem to be from whatever group, it creates wars, ignorance, greed, division, and ultimately: DEATH.
Look at the latest war fuck up under Bush. IRAQ.
Blackwater: A war profiteer in charge of the most dangerous mercenary contact-for-hire private army in which the CEO is supposedly very religious and is one of the contributors of PROP 8. He is a member of another hate group called FOCUS ON THE FAMILY and is right now making a killing in IRAQ as one of the money contractors in that country.
The mormons: Take a look in Texas and Warren Jeffs. The deliberate withholding of educating children, forcing and raping of young girls at a very young age to become married and have families in polygamous marriages. These are the people funding this hate bill against US gay folk.
But I have to ask though: Do we gay folk really want it? Do we really want to be married? Can I ask why do we need to adopt that word marriage? We are not man and woman. We are men and men or woman and woman. Why can't we just accept "domestic partnership" and still ensure those same rights are guaranteed towards us just like straight folk?
Its a tough call for both Vic & I. We both have spoken about it a few times but in the end we always looked at the bad and here's why.
Marriage is a very big responsibility. There are legal things that happen when a man and woman get married. Not only does the bride take on the husband's last name (sometimes she keeps her own maiden but traditionally not), but whatever property he or she owns, unless they sign a prenuptual agreement (and that can be broken as well as Britney Spears' ex did by blackmailing her) it now legally becomes both of theirs. Sure, there are plenty of benefits. Health costs are cheaper, and if something should happen to one spouse let's say by illness, the other spouse has power of attorney to decide the other's fate.
After seeing what happened in the state of Florida a few years ago between Michael Schiavo and his wife Terry who was in a vegetative state with no hope of recovery versus the nasty 15-year fight with her family and the crazy religious groups, Vic & I took out living wills saying that if one of us should become incapacitated where we cannot take care of ourselves (such as a coma) that we (Vic for I or I for Vic) will have the power of attorney NOT to keep us alive.
I did this simply because I as much as I love my sister, my cousin John, his family and his sister Ara, I do not trust them or any other member of my family to respect and honor my wishes in time of grief if I should pass. I don't trust Vic's family either. Don't get me wrong, they are great people that I know would take the shirt of their backs for me, but seeing how they are full-blooded Italians, blood is thicker than water, and family is EVERYTHING to them. If he should heaven forbid become ill and pass on, I have this feeling in my gut that I would be met with a vicious tooth-and-nail fight.
People can act very crazy when they are in pain.
Vic and I have argued long and hard about this.
A fellow straight bud told me that we gay folk don't know how lucky we are.
We gay people if its over, we just move out. When married people are over, they go to court and pay money to attorneys and start the legal battles of this-is-mine and this-is-yours.
He went further asking me: Do you really wanna be with somebody that once was hot as hell and now let's just say everything went downhill?
I laughed at that one.
Then comes the legal bills. Do you really want to be responsible for someone else and all their shit?
For me, I LOVE Vic flaws and all. I've been with this man nearly 15 years. NO ONE will ever be good enough as he.
I've been out since I was 17 years old. Most of the queers I've encountered are selfish, self serving individuals in for the NOW, for the moment, NOT for the long haul.
I hope that PROP 8 is defeated and that gay marriage does become official in the state of CA. I hope that these guys that decide to get married get a full blown reality check of the responsibility that comes along with making that decision. If things don't work out, it's not as simple as packing up your things and finding somewhere else to live. ;)