Saturday, December 18, 2010

Congress Repeals DADT


"For we are not a nation that says "don't ask don't, tell". We are a nation that says: "out of many, we are one". We a nation that welcomes the service of every patriot. We are a nation that believes that all men and women are created equal. Those are the ideals that generations have fought for. Those are the ideals that we uphold today."

--President Barack Obama, Commander in Chief.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

World AIDS Day 2010

In honor of those that we've loved and lost and those that are still here fighting on, this is for you.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

it will be 4 months....

I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I guess you can call it a personal log I suppose.

It will be 4 months since I joined 24-hour fitness. I'm still unsure as to what the fuck I'm doing. Does anybody really know when they decide to exercise and take better care of themselves? Fuck it.

Again, my main reason is get in better shape, lose weight, get stronger, and this is the only thing I have complete control over.....ME. I can't control the shit economy, shit-for-brains people, or life in general but I can control me. It's been a great way to vent serious anger.....and boy do I have a lot of it. A friend asked me one time "why do I work out so late?" (after 11:00pm or so) and the reason being is that I don't like competing for the machines against anyone else AND I enjoy my peace and quiet. The other reason is that "either I hit the weights or I go into San Francisco and beat the shit outta couple of self-serving pussy whores that fucked me over that I hate", LOL.

Everyone laughed at that post. Call me an asshole but I was being honest. People talk and I know that message was "relayed" along. Must be hard to sleep with one eye open not knowing if or when karma strikes back.


I still get chest pains from time to time but nowhere near as frequent. I'm also hungry as hell eating constantly. The supplement I use it when making smoothies and believe it or not, it's actually quite delicious when mixed with fruit and other natural juices. I also made a decision that from now on, I'll be hitting the weights Monday through Friday with my weekends giving me the time to rest.

One way or another I'm sticking to this.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

R.I.P. Mike Deely (DaddyMike) (1962-2010)

Rest in peace my friend. You are a doll and if there is another life out there after this one, I'll be looking forward to joining ya handsome. BIG STRONG HUGS! My heart goes out to his partner Todd and to both their families. I won't ever forget you.

Friday, August 20, 2010

one month later....

I'm my own worst critic. It's true. After a lifetime of fucked up choices and real bad habits you come to a turning point where you look at yourself in the mirror and realize that "it's now or never". March 2010 was the month where it hit me. I didn't like the fact that I was fast approaching a 40" waistline, my face ballooned, and every time I walked around S.F., I felt as if I was carrying an elephant on my back. You would think that 3 years ago with my brush of death and warnings from doctors that I'd get the message but unfortunately I'm stubborn as a bull and tough lessons don't come easy to me.

Yep, I decided to go on a diet. Give up the wonderfully unhealthy shit I was eating and get my fat ass moving again. It hasn't been easy. Giving up pasta, to go, and fried foods was tough. I was getting migranes like crazy and was constantly hungry. Then I made another step at joining 24-hour fitness. I've never been to a gym in my life and here I am, 38 years old doing this.

"What the fuck did I get myself into?" is all I kept asking myself. So I pump up at night. Less people, no distractions. The weird thing about this is for the first couple of weeks I was sore and my body felt "hot". I knew what was....just my muscles essentially being "awakened" as this old workhorse now beginning to take force. I actually like what I'm doing.

And already some people have taken notice. For the most part, I've gotten positive response and a even a few fellow muscle men have reached out to me offering advice. Even some fellow buds have reached out to me embracing me so to all of you, I say a big "THANK YOU".

But on the flip side, I've had a curious bunch that watch but say nothing, then a few haters have come out and attacked as what they see as me "suckling up to the musclemen and roid heads" which is NOT the case.

Let me make it quite clear : This is not about vanity or outer appearances. I could give a shit. This is about my health. Too many people in my family and friends have dropped like flies from various illnesses due to poor health and diet. My own mother died of complications of diabetes in 2008.
At 5'6" and 240 pounds I could no longer ignore the fact I was tired all time, and I walking around the city I felt as if I was to give out. Back east, the doc told me flat out "you need to lose weight or be on blood pressure and diabetes medication for the rest of your life". Fuck that. That is no way to live. I made a vow to myself a long time ago that I'm not going to be on pills for the rest of my life no matter what happens. I'd rather be dead.

I realize I might just piss off a few in the gay bear community for being honest because so many of you have been welcoming and good to me, but speaking for myself, my health is important to me. If there's a chance of me making it to 50, I have to do this.

And for the haters here's a line that I'm borrowing from a bud he posted on his wall on Facebook as a direct message to somebody that was trying to piss him off:

"You can kiss my hairy ass since that's one part of my body I can't do myself".

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


FUCK YOU Mormons, Focus on the family, Family Research Council, and every religious right-wing hate monger group out there. GO FUCK YOURSELVES and the hell you came from.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Friday, July 23, 2010

R.I.P. Sam Storicks (1979-2010)

I began talking to Sam 6 years ago on the internet and met him and Greg when I moved to San Francisco 2 years ago and few more times after, the last time being at the Deco on Larkin Street on 'cuda night which also was where I decided to go out for my birthday. It was an amazing night and I'm glad Sam convinced me to come out.
Rest In Peace dear friend. It was a pleasure to talk to you and meet you in person in this very brief life. You will never be forgotten.

My heart goes out to his partner Greg Kerr and to their families. BIG STRONG HUGS and much love. I am very sorry for your loss.

(This picture was taken on my birthday on February 7th 2010 at the Deco in San Francisco on 'cuda night.)

Thursday, June 24, 2010


it's Pride Week in S.F.. Come on out and visit!

Friday, May 28, 2010


Take away the "vampire element" of this show, and the one thing I've seen more and more is that "bigoted people" that incite hatred, intolerance, and violence against the innocent trying to fight for their right to exist are the so-called religious ones. BRILLIANT.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rockaway Beach Pacifica, CA

I took the truck further down Pacifica (south of San Francisco) and walked around Rockaway Beach up to the mountain facing the Pacific ocean. What a fantastic view!
To all of my friends that have not yet visited the Bay Area, you are welcome to come visit. It's an amazing place!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Amateur Video Of Gulf Oil Slick - Worse Than BP Admits

10% of the American population believes in this batshit poll

(from Raw Story written by John Byrne)Poll: Ten percent of Americans believe environmentalists intentionally caused oil spill

That's right, 10 percent. but wait, there's more:

Fifth of those polled say disaster increases their belief in drilling
Ten percent of Americans believe environmentalists intentionally sabotaged the oil rig Deepwater Horizon off the Gulf Coast according to a poll released Tuesday, apparently as part of a ploy to reduce Americans' support for offshore drilling.
The surprising finding was contained in a poll released Tuesday by Public Policy Polling. Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh floated the idea on his nationally syndicated talk show.
Polling director Tom Jensen downplayed the finding in a blog post, arguing that the figure was insignificant. He noted, however, that if "undecideds" were included, the number of Americans who are unsure about or believe the environmental sabotage theory rises to more than thirty percent.
"Just 9% of voters say they think environmentalists caused the spill while 22% are unsure and 69% don't believe they had anything to do with it," Jensen writes. "Even among GOP voters only 13% are buying into the 'the environmentalists' did it frame of mind."

Also notable in the poll was that almost a fifth of Americans said they were more likely to support offshore drilling after the oil disaster.
"Perhaps most surprisingly 21% of voters said the spill made them more likely to support offshore drilling," Jensen added. "That includes an even split among GOP voters, 28% of whom said the spill made them more likely to support drilling and 28% of whom said the spill made them less likely to support drilling."
If environmentalists were really responsible, as Rush Limbaugh asserts, their "ploy" hasn't succeeded, the poll finds. Fifty five percent of Americans polled after the oil leak still supported offshore drilling. Democrats polled were narrowly opposed.
Americans' belief in things not seen isn't new -- more than half of Americans polled in a 2008 study said they believed "angels and demons" were active in the world, with 80 percent claiming that miracles do occur.
Seven hundred and seven Americans were surveyed in the Public Policy study, conducted between May 7 and May 9. The poll carries a margin of error of plus or minus 3.7 points.

This is just goes to show how the 10% that listen to people like blowhard Rush Limbaugh are the most BATSHIT crazy. First of all, how is that EVEN possible considering that the well is 5,000 feet (over 1 mile) under water and a diver would be crushed under that immense water pressure.

It is absurd on so many levels. Think about this, the earth's oceans are vastly unexplored and many are at depths way deeper that are unreachable with the current technologies we have. At 5,000 feet underwater, the pressure is several tons per square foot. At those depths, an automobile would be crushed like a sardine can. Environmentalist groups have the means to acquire small submarines to reach that level and a little more (that's how the Titanic was found as it is 2 miles underwater), but they need permission from governments including ours to go into the ocean.

These people that are buying into that bullshit/batshit conspiracy theory are very uneducated.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A letter to Conservatives

"vote conservative"? my response to a right wing brother

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Tue May 11, 2010 at 02:18:42 PM PDT

I have a very, very conservative brother. (Actually--full disclosure--I have two. And a father. I don't know what is wrong with the men in my family.) :-) The brother in question owns his own business down in Florida, and my son, in his mid-twenties, has been having difficulties finding a job (like everyone). I had never asked before, but I decided to impose upon my brother to see if he might be able to help, though I doubted if, in today's economy, he would.
In his response (negative, of course), he took the opportunity to make some pretty blunt statements about "the mess that your president has made of the country’s economics." He went on to say,
I only wish that someone in the administration at sometime had enrolled in a college course of Economics 101… Apparently, they all studied “Greek Economics” instead…
He closed by inviting me to "vote conservative please" in the midterms. I do not usually engage any of these men in political discussions because it is usually the verbal equivalent of repeatedly hitting my head into a granite wall, but this time I just couldn't help it. Follow me below the fold to see my response.
Hi, Greg,
I seem to recall that the current economic disaster began and in fact grew to its monstrous size under your President, whose policies were so short-sighted and reckless that he managed to turn a several billion dollar surplus into a near total economic collapse in eight years. The TARP was his program, a last minute bailout of his buds on the Street who had treated the money entrusted to them by the middle class as their own private casino funds, bet it all again and again in speculative endeavors that even they admit were absurd, and--gee whillikers!--ultimately collapsed under their own artificially propped up weight.
You may certainly disagree with Obama's Keynesian approach to resolving the problem, but if you examine what is happening in the economy today there is little doubt that it is working. Not as quickly as everyone would like it to work, certainly, but then it took a very long time to create this mess, so fixing it in a little more than a year is and always was highly unlikely.
Still, let's see what Obama has presided over thus far, shall we?
When he came in, the stock market was in free fall.
Today, it has completely recovered and is setting records.
When he came in, the American auto business was in danger of becoming extinct.
Today, Detroit may not be thriving, but the Big 3 are alive and well and looking to the future.
When he came in, Bush had paid out $700B in TARP money.
Today, all but $100B or so has been repaid.
When he came in, the nation was bleeding jobs, losing them at a pace that seemed assured to land us in another Great Depression.
Almost immediately, after passing the Recovery Act, the bleeding lessened. Every month of his administration, it has continued to lessen. Then, in December, the economy began producing jobs. Every month since then it has produced more jobs than the month before, with over 200K produced in April alone.
He has managed to accomplish something that Presidents have been trying to do since Teddy Roosevelt: get Congress to adopt a national health care policy that regulates the insurance industry and guarantees coverage without recision. It is not enough, but it is a start.
He has removed the banks as middle men in the student loan industry for the first time since Reagan put them there. Do you know when college education costs started skyrocketing? I'll tell you: the Reagan administration. Hmmm... Again, it's not nearly enough, but it's a step.
Despite being fought tooth and nail by opposition whose only cohesive policy appears to be "say no to everything Obama wants," he seems to be making headway against most of the big issues that faced him when he came into office. If the GOP would stop playing politics and start (oh, I don't know) trying to govern, we could be well on our way not only to recovery but to a truly remarkable time in America. But the GOP would rather foster unrest and encourage anger and hatred and doubt than do anything positive at this point in their existence.
Truly, that's too bad. When I look at the sorry state of the Republican Party right now, I just feel sad. It has been taken over by its worst elements. You ask me to "vote conservative"? I don't think I could if I even wanted to. True conservatives are hard to come by in this charade of "tea party" extremists. When Bob Bennett gets kicked out of the Senate by his constituents in Utah for not being "conservative" enough, the world is out of whack. When Charlie Crist and Arlen Spector can't find a place any longer within the GOP, something is seriously wrong with the party of Lincoln. When John McCain has to stoop to picking Sarah Freaking Palin as a running mate to appease the ultra right wing knuckle-draggers in his own party and then agree to allow her to foment vitriol in rally after rally to the extent that things got so out of control that even he had to step in at one rally and set his voters straight, someone has lost all sense of propriety. When the party becomes the home of bigots and birthers and men who show up to Presidential rallies wearing weapons, sanity has left the building. When the State of Maine, which usually remains somewhat above the lunacy and which has (to its credit) the only two moderate Republicans still allowed to roam free, loses its collective mind and issues a political platform that is so utterly (as one writer put it) "batshit crazy" that at one point it actually demands that the State of Maine officially oppose any attempt to create a one-world government, the whole party has officially come unhinged. Talk about giving in to the conspiracy theorists. Why don't they just mandate tin-foil hats?
The thing is that conservatism, true conservatism, is needed in this country. Just as yin needs yang, as dark needs light, as up needs down, so liberal needs conservative. Everything requires balance. Bush proved that. When the Dems were rolling over and playing dead, acquiescing to everything he asked for in his first term instead of using the fact that his majorities were slim to negotiate better bills, Bush rode roughshod over the Constitution, deceived us into an immoral and very costly war, became the king of the unfunded mandate, and spent years rewarding the richest people in the land and ignoring everyone else so that, just before everything went to hell, the gap between executive and worker pay was by far the largest it had ever been in history. The rich got richer and richer and the middle class and the poor could not make ends meet.
These were his legacies, Greg. His legacies, not Obama's. Because he was a neocon, not a true conservative. I do not agree with conservatism, as you are well aware. But I respect it. It is honorable and sincere and those who believe in its philosophies truly have the best interests of America in mind when they run for offices under conservative banners. But the neocons? Uh uh. History will record--if they have not started us on an irreparable path to our own national destruction--that they were one of the greediest and most self-righteous groups of leaders ever, that their hypocrisy was matched only by their amorality, and that they presided over the systematic and intentional undermining of a system of checks and balances that had been in place since the Great Depression which, once gone, unleashed a torrent of cash into their coffers and aggressively destroyed the economy for everyone else.
Sadly, there would be no place in today's GOP for any GOP President in American history save Bush and (maybe) Reagan. Pappy Bush would never make it. Nixon? He's practically a liberal. Ford? Forget it. Ike? No way in hell. Do you what the taxes were like under Ike? The highest progressive tax rate was 90% for the income in the highest margins. 90%. Imagine that! And what did the poorest pay? Nothing.
Where is the party of these Presidents? Where is the party of William F. Buckley? Where is the party of Russell Kirk? Hell, Barry Goldwater, who was considered so outrageously conservative in 1964 that Lyndon Johnson's voters actually believed the "daisy ad," would be in the Democratic Party today. William Safire defined himself as a "libertarian conservative"; is there even room for that in today's GOP?
This GOP has earned its "Party of No" moniker. John Boehner's office actually began circulating templates opposing Obama's SCOTUS nominee with "INSERT NAME" on them, the templates proclaiming (basically) the downfall of civilization as we know it if this nominee (whoever it happened to be apparently was unimportant) gets through. Despite the fact--the fact--that Obama has, from the outset, reached out to them time after time after time, angering his own constituents in the process by (in the opinion of many on the left) giving away the store before negotiations even start just to show his good faith, the GOP insists on maintaining the lie that he refuses to include them in anything. The health care bill is chock full of Republican ideas, but all you heard from them was "he's shoving it down our throats." The first thing Obama did in the Recovery bill was to agree to tax cuts despite the fact that Keynesian economics tells us that they are utterly counterproductive because it would, he thought, bring the GOP to the table. In the final Stim Bill, there were I think almost $200B in cuts. My taxes were lower this year; were yours? A study just today says that we are being taxed at the lowest rate since Truman. Good Lord! What does anyone have to complain about the job the government is doing with the little we are still giving them?
Don't get me wrong. I don't want to give them more. I can't afford to. But I'll tell you what: unlike the idiots who took the Washington Metro to anti-government rallies to chant against all taxes and government interference in their daily lives ("but keep your hands off our Medicare!") and then bitch about the long waits to get back home on the (government-run) trains, saying that someone should have put more cars on duty for the rallies, I understand what I am paying for. I am paying for the infrastructure of this nation. Much of it is old and crumbling and in desperate need of repair, and, yes, in need of our tax dollars to make those repairs happen. But I wouldn't be driving on interstate highways with excellent police protection to places that won't burn down because fire codes are strictly enforced where I can eat healthy food that I know won't kill me because health codes too are enforced (and I could go on) if it were not for those tax dollars. That's just the truth. And I for one would not wish to do without any of these things. And, seeing the excellent job that the banks and the insurance industries have done of keeping college and health costs down through good old fashioned capitalistic free enterprise, and watching the way Wall Street has consistently screwed the middle class while padding its pockets, even during the current crisis--even while taking taxpayer handouts!--I think I'd rather have the government in charge and take my chances.
(Oh, and before you say "but Medicare is a shambles," just stop. It's not. It's just underfunded. Thank you, Bush tax cuts. There is a reason those tea partiers are holding those "hands off my medicare" signs, and it isn't because they like crappy health care.)
I don't usually bother trying to get you to see "my" side of the political argument, Greg. Frankly, it's not worth it. You are an amazingly smart guy, but you've spent too many hours watching Fox News and believing that you are seeing something that actually is true. Heck, I think Rush Limbaugh has even begun to believe the garbage he spews into the ether, and he was perfectly willing to admit several years ago that he is, first and foremost, an entertainer. (FWIW, I don't think that Ann Coulter believes a word she says. I think she is a huge hypocrite saying whatever she thinks will sell books, and she's found a ready audience on Fox. She's become such a caricature of herself that she simply cannot be taken seriously and, unlike Rush, she never was an entertainer, so there's no excuse.)
But anyway, for whatever reason, I just thought I'd give this a shot, even if it falls on the deaf ears I suspect it will. You think I have swallowed Obama's Kool-Aid and I'm just echoing the party line, but I'm not. It's the Fox News types, the Tea Partiers, who have swallowed the Kool-Aid, and it really is poison. As for me, well, I question Obama all the time. I'm very unhappy with the fact that Guantanamo is still open, for instance. And I am deeply disturbed by the fact that he has not issued an Executive Order--as would be within his authority--halting execution of DADT until Congress can eliminate it. I think that at least one of these SCOTUS nominees should have been a flaming liberal; Bush did not hesitate to appoint ardent conservatives. I also think he appeases the GOP too much, especially when they have shown again and again that they are utterly unwilling to compromise in any way. My feeling is that he should just say "screw it" and use his Democratic majorities to forge powerful left-leaning legislation, just as Bush did on the other side with far smaller majorities (and even with a Senate tie): if the GOP doesn't want a part in things, the heck with them. But he continues to be a statesman despite everything. And you know what? After eight years of having a class clown as President, I sort of like that.
I do hope that you have read this thoughtfully and recognize that I am, though unabashedly liberal, ardently in favor of a strong, thoughtful, rational opposition party. At this moment in time, the GOP is not that party. I fear that it is heading down a road from which it may not be able to recover for a very long time, if ever. When the Democrats were in a similar position--hijacked by their fringes--in the early 70's, they turned inward, re-examined their priorities, and ended up nominating Jimmy Carter. You'll argue that he was a disastrous President. I have two responses: first, it was circumstances, not policy, that caused the problems of the late 70's, and anyone in the White House at that time would have been in the same boat. He was tremendously unlucky and, distrusted by the still very active fringes of the party, received little support in Congress. Second, because of the above, he lost in 1980, setting in motion both the ensuing twelve years of Republican rule and the rise of the neocons, which ultimately led to Bush and the near-destruction of the American economy. A party hijacked by its fringes fails. Even winning the Presidency in 1976 became a failure for the Democrats because those fringes within their party refused to let Carter govern, aligning themselves again and again with the GOP across the aisle. So the fringes caused what amounted to two decades of disaster for the party.
And I hate to say this, but the Democrats on the fringe, though clearly outside of the realm of political reality, stood for something morally good. They stood for basic human dignity and welfare, for equal rights for everyone, for helping those in need. What does the fringe of the right today stand for? Hatred and distrust. Hatred of Obama, hatred of gays, bigotry, anger, distrust of government, lack of faith in even the evidence right before their eyes that Obama is in fact a US citizen. I am worried that a party that gives in to this kind of fringe will implode, never to return. A new second party will emerge, perhaps the Libertarians, who are in a good position, but it would be a shame.
Abraham Lincoln is often cited as the standard bearer of the GOP. They like Teddy Roosevelt too. And Ike. But these guys would not recognize the party of today. And they sure as heck would not want to be a part of it.
But that's OK: they wouldn't be welcome if they did.
UPDATE: Wow, go away for an hour and I'm on the rec list. If I knew that was how to do it, I'd leave right after posting every time! :-) (Thanks, folks.)
UPDATE #2: To all those who asked, feel free to copy, paste, and send this anywhere you want. I'd be honored if something of mine went semi-viral. :-)
UPDATE #3: After waiting all day to see how Greg would respond, I just received an email from him limited in scope to my son's situation. A quick query later, I discovered that he had never received my message! I've resent it. Don't know if he's still online.
UPDATE #4: I adjusted the "90%" tax rate to phrase it more accurately.
This letter is from a poster on the Daily Kos and was re-posted by my friend Sherman on Facebook. PRICELESS.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

And the award goes to....

mother's day....

I never really liked to talk about my parents especially not my mother because how I came to existence to this earth and how I grew up was not a happy childhood.

My parents got married out of convenience and opportunity, not by true love. Their marriage was doomed from the beginning as he was a physically and emotionally abusive man towards my mom, and they divorced soon after my sister of 3 & 1/2 years younger than me was born. My birth father never wanted either one of us. There was only a handful of times that he appeared the last time being when I was 14 years old. Seeing that I was working at the time, he boldly asked me for money which I was stunned and then told to essentially go to hell. Never saw him again after that.

My relationship with my mother was always testy as far as I could remember. She was a patient woman, but being an immigrant in a country she did not know, where she barely spoke the language, and struggling to make ends meet, and worrying about us growing up in a really bad neighborhood, she did the best she with the little resources she had.

My mother never got over the emotional damage her marriage to my father did and the divorce that followed after. She was very bitter and took it out on us as kids, mainly me because I physically looked like him. There was only a handful of times I can remember where she was a loving woman towards me and my sister. But she did hold anger against us, and many times she made it clear to both of us that she didn't want us.

Finding out I'm gay made life at home unbearable. When I moved out at 17 years old, my mother made it very clear I was on my own and I'd never be allowed to come home ever again. It didn't really bother me that she was this way until I got to see how so many other people I knew had parents that loved their children and wanted to be there for them. One thanksgiving my mother was having at her house and I asked her if she could come and give me a ride over as I didn't have a vehicle at the time and had no way of coming over. She refused to come get me. When I came back from living in Chicago and was looking for a place to live, I asked her to allow to stay with her temporarily just until I got back on my feet, she turned me away.

Last time I saw mother in person or made any contact with her was in 1996, the last time I asked her to help me when I had nowhere to go. After that, I pretty much went silent. And here my sister and I had parents that didn't want either one of us. I didn't and still don't understand why. How could a parent turn their back on their children?

During all this time, my mother tells the family that she has no idea what she did to her children especially me, that has made me completely shut her out. In response to my family I did 2 things: I outed myself, which divided my family, and then wrote her a nice long letter telling her word for word why.

So my mother takes ill with breast cancer. She has the lump removed and receives treatment. A year later, the cancer spreads and she ends up having surgery to remove her pancreas. Diabetes and taking about 15cc's of insulin a day which she has side effects and allergic reactions.

Her health is in decline. I made one attempt along with my sister to see her and unfortunately as always, it ends up badly. She's not taking care of her health and showing defiance towards us for scolding her in eating foods that would kill a person that is a diabetic. I walk, out my sister Alma following right behind me.

I busted my ass going to college twice and then cemented my relationship with Vic by us moving in together. My man has seen first hand how my family has treated me, and he's also met my sister. Alma told me how lucky I am to be with somebody. I told her she would have had the same thing if she made the right choices. My sister and I never had a good relationship as kids. It's funny that now I don't know who she is.

My birth father passed away in early 2007 at 68 years old and he left no will. I always thought the man really believed he was going to die much older and take his estate with him. I was contacted by relatives about his passing but I relinquished my claim and turned everything over to my sister. The reason being is that if anyone rightfully deserved any monetary claim to our father's estate it would be her. I went to college and invested in myself. I did what I needed to do for me and have no regrets. Alma is a single unwed mother that dropped out of high school. She is someone that deserves to have a better life and this was her opportunity for that.

Upon moving out here to the bay area in April 2008 with Vic, it sent a strong message back to my family I'm alright and doing ok. I have no regrets about my decision. Vic is doing well, I'm still pounding the pavement trying to find a permanent position in I.T. and no matter I'm gonna persevere. I always have.

On August 8th, 2008, my mother passed away of complications from diabetes. I still to this day wonder what is it really like to have and know that you have loving parents that would never turn their back on you. Vic and so many people I know came from loving good homes. I ask this question: what is it like to come from a loving home? to have parents that love and want you? to have family you know you can rely on? This is something I wonder even though I am now pushing 40 years old.

My mother had a hard life. I don't harbor hate as she did the best she could. I always loved my mom even though she was far from perfect. She tried.

She's at peace now.

Saturday, May 1, 2010


If this were in every gay bar in San Francisco, New York City, Los Angeles, & Miami, a fellow facebooker & I were just discussing how some drunk idiotic queer would try to attempt on using it for more than just taking a piss.
There would be a lot of hospital visits ;)


-- Bill Maher: "Every asshole who ever chanted 'Drill baby drill' should have to report to the Gulf coast today for cleanup duty..."

Friday, April 30, 2010

gulf oil rig explosion

We are fucked. As the news keeps coming in of the gulf oil explosion and the leaking well pouring 50,000 gallons into the gulf, this is the worst environmental disaster and BP, Halliburton, and every major oil company is directly responsible. So many lives will be affected by this.


Monday, April 19, 2010

why aren't ANY of the major media asking the question as to why these pedophile priests were not thrown in jail for the crimes they committed against children?

We've all heard the recent sexual pedophile priest scandals that have rocked the Catholic church over the years and now more recently in the past few months but the one thing that bothers me to no end is this: TO ALL THE MAJOR MEDIA NEWS OUTLETS: why aren't YOU asking the question as to why these pedophile priests were not thrown in jail for the crimes they committed against children?

YOU have a responsibility and DUTY to tell the public and ASK this question! Why haven't you?

we MUST continue the fight for gay rights

Another fellow Facebook user posted this article which I wanted to cry. Just north of San Francisco, an elderly gay couple's rights were violated in the worse way:

Clay and his partner of 20 years, Harold, lived in California. Clay and Harold made diligent efforts to protect their legal rights, and had their legal paperwork in place--wills, powers of attorney, and medical directives, all naming each other. Harold was 88 years old and in frail medical condition, but still living at home with Clay, 77, who was in good health.
One evening, Harold fell down the front steps of their home and was taken to the hospital. Based on their medical directives alone, Clay should have been consulted in Harold's care from the first moment. Tragically, county and health care workers instead refused to allow Clay to see elderly_man.jpgHarold in the hospital. The county then ultimately went one step further by isolating the couple from each other, placing the men in separate nursing homes.
Ignoring Clay's significant role in Harold's life, the county continued to treat Harold like he had no family and went to court seeking the power to make financial decisions on his behalf. Outrageously, the county represented to the judge that Clay was merely Harold's "roommate." The court denied their efforts, but did grant the county limited access to one of Harold's bank accounts to pay for his care.
What happened next is even more chilling.
Without authority, without determining the value of Clay and Harold's possessions accumulated over the course of their 20 years together or making any effort to determine which items belonged to whom, the county took everything Harold and Clay owned and auctioned off all of their belongings. Adding further insult to grave injury, the county removed Clay from his home and confined him to a nursing home against his will. The county workers then terminated Clay and Harold's lease and surrendered the home they had shared for many years to the landlord.
Three months after he was hospitalized, Harold died in the nursing home. Because of the county's actions, Clay missed the final months he should have had with his partner of 20 years. Compounding this tragedy, Clay has literally nothing left of the home he had shared with Harold or the life he was living up until the day that Harold fell, because he has been unable to recover any of his property. The only memento Clay has is a photo album that Harold painstakingly put together for Clay during the last three months of his life.
With the help of a dedicated and persistent court-appointed attorney, Anne Dennis of Santa Rosa, Clay was finally released from the nursing home. Ms. Dennis, along with Stephen O'Neill and Margaret Flynn of Tarkington, O'Neill, Barrack & Chong, now represent Clay in a lawsuit against the county, the auction company, and the nursing home, with technical assistance from NCLR. A trial date has been set for July 16, 2010 in the Superior Court for the County of Sonoma.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Definition Of A Teabagger

When you take away the teabagger's argument of smaller government, no taxes, supposed conspiracy of government's intrusion into people's private lives, what they are really about is:

TEABAGGER = Totally Enraged About Blacks And Gays Getting Equal Rights.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

An Open Letter To All Gay People

I've never felt comfortable with the label "politico" because if I were one, I'd be making money off of it (LOL). Even though I read constantly about what is going on in the United States and throughout the world and try to spread the word by my blog and Facebook, I understand that people are not all the same and don't always agree on the issues.

But the one thing however I do fundamentally strongly feel (when it comes to gay people) is that no matter where they are or how different their walks of life may be, when it comes to the struggle for civil and equal rights for the LGBT community, we all understand what it means to be persecuted and discriminate against, and we must continue to fight until equality is reached throughout this country and the world.

Over the years however, I've come across some in our community that don't share the progress that we've accomplished so far, and those same people within our community are working against to us to turn back the last 40 years by supporting the very institutions that have demonized and persecuted gays, lesbians, and the transgendered, and by voting for politicians that have implemented discrimination laws under the guise of religious right-wing moral bullshit.

On March 25th, 2010 I received a rather laughable, yet very disturbing message on Facebook from a user that had friend-requested me months before but has NEVER EVER made any effort in wanting to talk to me nor expressed any interest in anything i ever posted whether it be my love of automobiles, technology, entertainment, food, where I live, ect…nothing.

This is what he wrote to me:

"(name withheld) Joe...while I respect the 1st amendment... I really don't want to hear bashings of the RIGHT on a consistant basis. Do you even post anything about yourself?? I just grew tired of it....sorry buddy..."

At first I was stunned. I did not know what to say to that. Then I decided to respond as honestly as I know how to be:

"No worries (name withheld).

If you really had ANY interest in talking to me, you would see the many pictures and videos I've posted of quirky things I DO like. (e.g.: nature, automotive, technology, music, sex, movies). It's obvious you have no real interest in anyone else because it's all about you.
In the time since you friend requested me, you have NEVER once said a word to me at all, whether it be here or BMB, even when I've complimented your pics on that site and right here on Facebook. Its obvious you see me as a zit on your ass you would like to be rid of, and congratulations, you succeeded. I don't need nor want your kind around me, and thank the gods that backwards queers like you are dying off just not quickly enough.

As far as the right is concerned, they unfortunately has done quite a bit of harm over the past 3 decades to this country. It is not a lie. I'm tired of the right siding with the top 1% wealthy elites that are harboring nearly ALL of the wealth in this country while the rest of the population has nothing and jobs are being shipped off to imperialist repressive regimes like China.

I also don't like many liberal ideas either. Look at where I live. S.F. is as liberal as it gets and I've had it out with those that think the left * SHOULD* be the way, the ONLY way.

You as a gay man it surprises/disappoints me that you would side with the very people that would completely try to undermine you at every corner they could. Notice has the violence has INCREASED against gays since the hate crimes bill was passed, notice how the bigoted racists have banded together and have stepped up their voices of hate since the health care bill was passed. Personally I think the bill is very similar to Germany's and Japan's, but it's also deeply flawed.

Are you that disconnected from gay folk you would sleep with the right wingers that have continuously voiced their hatred of you because you fuck a man? Think about that for a second.

This is a free country.

If you cannot even have a truly honest conversation with me simply because you refuse to see what it is obvious to everyone else, then there's no reason to keep me as a friend and honestly, I DON'T want to be associated with you either.

goodbye (name withheld)"

I then became very angry and decided to do a little digging on this douche and here's what I discovered:

This fucking hateful conservative religious right loving self-loathing queer on his BMB and flickr pages, he's openly showing having traveled to many gay bear events AND has been in San Francisco, San Diego and other gay friendly places in CA, as well as Provincetown back east during Bearweek, TBRU, and is photographed with several well-known bearish men that I have spoken to and that I know and have met in person.

So here we have a gay man that openly indulges in all the pleasures that gay society offers, but behind closed doors, he sides with, and supports the very bigoted people that time and time again over many years have consistently discriminated against gays and lesbians.

I call that hypocrisy at it's finest. I really would love to know how many of these gay men pictured with this douche bag would feel if they knew that the two-faced turd they are embracing has his lips super-glued on the asshole of the hate-filled tea-bagging right.

Now I know what many of you are thinking: I'm judging based on a rather vague message and jumping to conclusions. WRONG. I'm am going by what was presented to me. The irony is that once I responded back, he never replied back to me nor did I expect him to. Cowards rarely do. The one thing that this guy doesn't fully realize is that the internet has made the world a much smaller place. Pissing off and disrespecting the people in your community that you have frolicked with is suicide. If you bite the hand that feeds you, you are essentially asking for your bridges to be burned right under your feet.

I am fed-up with our community accepting this kind of hypocrisy. It is time that we OUT individuals like this guy so that the entire community sees people like him for who they really are, the backstabbing and harm that people like this man are doing behind closed doors, and kick their them out on their pathetic ass leaving them to defend for themselves.

We need to call out the selfish and self-serving and drain the swamp of these people.

Thursday, April 8, 2010


I never got to see the ending when the show was originally on the air as we got rid of our cable service at the time. Vic was away on business and he watched the ending, told me about it, and how he hated it. When we finally bought the entire boxed set of SIX FEET UNDER, I watched the entire series from start to finish.
I cried the first time I saw the ending. I was blown away of how beautifully it was done.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Another one bites the dust-AND GOOD RIDDANCE

some guy that has really NEVER spoken to me decided he didn't like my posts bashing the political RIGHT in this country *COWARDLY* sent me a lovely message on FB pathetically titled "UNFRIENDING":

(name withheld) Joe...while I respect the 1st amendment... I really don't want to hear bashings of the RIGHT on a consistant basis. Do you even post anything about yourself?? I just grew tired of it....sorry buddy...

and my response:

No worries (name withheld).

If you really had ANY interest in talking to me, you would see the many pictures and videos I've posted of quirky things I DO like. (e.g.: nature, automotive, technology, music, sex, movies). It's obvious you have no real interest in anyone else because it's all about you.
In the time since you friend requested me, you have NEVER once said a word to me at all, whether it be here or BMB, even when I've complimented your pics on that site and right here on Facebook. Its obvious you see me as a zit on your ass you would like to be rid of, and congratulations, you succeeded. I don't need nor want your kind around me, and thank the gods that backwards queers like you are dying off just not quickly enough.

As far as the right is concerned, they unfortunately has done quite a bit of harm over the past 3 decades to this country. It is not a lie. I'm tired of the right siding with the top 1% wealthy elites that are harboring nearly ALL of the wealth in this country while the rest of the population has nothing and jobs are being shipped off to imperialist repressive regimes like China.

I also don't like many liberal ideas either. Look at where I live. S.F. is as liberal as it gets and I've had it out with those that think the left * SHOULD* be the way, the ONLY way.

You as a gay man it surprises/disappoints me that you would side with the very people that would completely try to undermine you at every corner they could. Notice has the violence has INCREASED against gays since the hate crimes bill was passed, notice how the bigoted racists have banded together and have stepped up their voices of hate since the health care bill was passed. Personally I think the bill is very similar to Germany's and Japan's, but it's also deeply flawed.

Are you that disconnected from gay folk you would sleep with the right wingers that have continuously voiced their hatred of you because you fuck a man? Think about that for a second.

This is a free country.

If you cannot even have a truly honest conversation with me simply because you refuse to see what it is obvious to everyone else, then there's no reason to keep me as a friend and honestly, I DON'T want to be associated with you either.

goodbye (name withheld)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A message to all conservatives....

I decided to repost this as it is BRILLIANT calling out the bullshit of the right-wing plague that is infecting the conservatives in this country.

News as it strains through my filters

An open letter to conservatives

with 40 comments

Dear Conservative Americans,

The years have not been kind to you. I grew up in a profoundly Republican home so I can remember when you wore a very different face than the one we see now. You’ve lost me and you’ve lost most of America. Because I believe having responsible choices is important to democracy, I’d like to give you some advice and an invitation.

First, the invitation: Come back to us.

Now the advice. You’re going to have to come up with a platform that isn’t built on a foundation of cowardice: fear of people with colors, religions, cultures and sex lives that differ from yours; fear of reform in banking, health care, energy; fantasy fears of America being transformed into an Islamic nation, into social/commun/fasc-ism, into a disarmed populace put in internment camps; and more. But you have work to do even before you take on that task.

Your party — the GOP — and the conservative end of the American political spectrum has become irresponsible and irrational. Worse, it’s tolerating, promoting and celebrating prejudice and hatred. Let me provide some expamples — by no means an exhaustive list — of where the Right as gotten itself stuck in a swamp of hypocrisy, hyperbole, historical inaccuracy and hatred.

If you’re going to regain your stature as a party of rational, responsible people, you’ll have to start by draining this swamp:


You can’t flip out — and threaten impeachment – when Dems use a parlimentary procedure (deem and pass) that you used repeatedly (more than 35 times in just one session and more than 100 times in all!), that’s centuries old and which the courts have supported. Especially when your leaders admit it all.

You can’t vote and scream against the stimulus package and then take credit for the good it’s done in your own district (happily handing out enormous checks representing money that you voted against is especially ugly) — 114 of you (at last count) did just that — and it’s even worse when you secretly beg for more.

You can’t fight against your own ideas just because the Dem president endorses your proposal.

You can’t call for a pay-as-you-go policy, and then vote against your own ideas.

Are they “unlawful enemy combatants” or are they “prisoners of war” at Gitmo? You can’t have it both ways.

You can’t carry on about the evils of government spending when your family has accepted more than a quarter-million dollars in government handouts.

You can’t refuse to go to a scheduled meeting, to which you were invited, and then blame the Dems because they didn’t meet with you.

You can’t rail against using teleprompters while using teleprompters. Repeatedly.

You can’t rail against the bank bailouts when you supported them as they were happening.

You can’t be for immigration reform, then against it .

You can’t enjoy socialized medicine while condemning it.

You can’t flip out when the black president puts his feet on the presidential desk when you were silent when the white presidents did the same. Bush. Ford.

You can’t complain that the president hasn’t closed Gitmo yet when you’ve campaigned to keep Gitmo open.

You can’t flip out when the black president bows to foreign dignitaries, as appropriate for their culture, when you were silent when the white presidents did the same. Bush. Nixon. Ike. You didn’t even make a peep when Bush held hands and kissed leaders of a countrys that’s not on “kissing terms” with the US.

You can’t complain that the undies bomber was read his Miranda rights under Obama when the shoe bomber was read his Miranda rights under Bush and you remained silent. (And, no, Newt — the shoe bomber was not a US citizen either, so there is no difference.)

You can’t attack the Dem president for not personally* publicly condemning a terrorist event for 72 hours when you said nothing about the Rep president waiting 6 days in an eerily similar incident (and, even then, he didn’t issue any condemnation). *The Obama administration did the day of the event.

You can’t throw a hissy fit, sound alarms and cry that Obama freed Gitmo prisoners who later helped plan the Christmas Day undie bombing, when — in fact — only one former Gitmo detainee, released by Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, helped to plan the failed attack.

You can’t condemn blaming the Republican president for an attempted terror attack on his watch, then blame the Dem president for an attemted terror attack on his.

You can’t mount a boycott against singers who say they’re ashamed of the president for starting a war, but remain silent when another singer says he’s ashamed of the president and falsely calls him a Moaist who makes him want to throw up and says he ought to be in jail.

You can’t cry that the health care bill is too long, then cry that it’s too short.

You can’t support the individual mandate for health insurance, then call it unconstitutional when Dems propose it and campaign against your own ideas.

You can’t demand television coverage, then whine about it when you get it. Repeatedly.

You can’t praise criminal trials in US courts for terror suspects under a Rep president, then call it “treasonous” under a Dem president.

You can’t propose ideas to create jobs, and then work against them when the Dems put your ideas in a bill.

You can’t be both pro-choice and anti-choice.

You can’t damn someone for failing to pay $900 in taxes when you’ve paid nearly $20,000 in IRS fines.

You can’t condemn criticizing the president when US troops are in harms way, then attack the president when US troops are in harms way , the only difference being the president’s party affiliation (and, by the way, armed conflict does NOT remove our right and our duty as Americans to speak up).

You can’t be both for cap-and-trade policy and against it.

You can’t vote to block debate on a bill, then bemoan the lack of ‘open debate’.

If you push anti-gay legislation and make anti-gay speeches, you should probably take a pass on having gay sex, regardless of whether it’s 2004 or 2010. This is true, too, if you’re taking GOP money and giving anti-gay rants on CNN. Taking right-wing money and GOP favors to write anti-gay stories for news sites while working as a gay prostitute, doubles down on both the hypocrisy and the prostitution. This is especially true if you claim your anti-gay stand is God’s stand, too.

When you chair the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, you can’t send sexy emails to 16-year-old boys (illegal anyway, but you made it hypocritical as well).

You can’t criticize Dems for not doing something you didn’t do while you held power over the past 16 years, especially when the Dems have done more in one year than you did in 16.

You can’t decry “name calling” when you’ve been the most consistent and outrageous at it. And the most vile.

You can’t spend more than 40 years hating, cutting and trying to kill Medicare, and then pretend to be the defenders of Medicare

You can’t praise the Congressional Budget Office when its analysis produces numbers that fit your political agenda, then claim it’s unreliable when it comes up with numbers that don’t.

You can’t vote for X under a Republican president, then vote against X under a Democratic president. Either you support X or you don’t. And it makes it worse when you change your position merely for the sake obstructionism.

You can’t call a reconcilliation out of bounds when you used it repeatedly.

You can’t spend tax-payer money on ads against spending tax-payer money.

You can’t condemn individual health insurance mandates in a Dem bill, when the madates were your idea.

You can’t demand everyone listen to the generals when they say what fits your agenda, and then ignore them when they don’t.

You can’t whine that it’s unfair when people accuse you of exploiting racism for political gain, when your party’s former leader admits you’ve been doing it for decades.

You can’t portray yourself as fighting terrorists when you openly and passionately support terrorists.

You can’t complain about a lack of bipartisanship when you’ve routinely obstructed for the sake of political gain — threatening to filibuster at least 100 pieces of legislation in one session, far more than any other since the procedural tactic was invented — and admitted it. Some admissions are unintentional, others are made proudly. This is especially true when the bill is the result of decades of compromise between the two parties and is filled with your own ideas.

You can’t question the loyalty of Department of Justice lawyers when you didn’t object when your own Republican president appointed them.

You can’t preach and try to legislate “Family Values” when you: take nude hot tub dips with teenagers (and pay them hush money); cheat on your wife with a secret lover and lie about it to the world; cheat with a staffer’s wife (and pay them off with a new job); pay hookers for sex while wearing a diaper and cheating on your wife; or just enjoying an old fashioned non-kinky cheating on your wife; try to have gay sex in a public toilet; authorize the rape of children in Iraqi prisons to coherce their parents into providing information; seek, look at or have sex with children; replace a guy who cheats on his wife with a guy who cheats on his pregnant wife with his wife’s mother;


You really need to dissassociate with those among you who:


If you’re going to use words like socialism, communism and fascism, you must have at least a basic understanding of what those words mean (hint: they’re NOT synonymous!)

You can’t cut a leading Founding Father out the history books because you’ve decided you don’t like his ideas.

You cant repeatedly assert that the president refuses to say the word “terrorism” or say we’re at war with terror when we have an awful lot of videotape showing him repeatedly assailing terrorism and using those exact words.

If you’re going to invoke the names of historical figures, it does not serve you well to whitewash them. Especially this one.

You can’t just pretend historical events didn’t happen in an effort to make a political opponent look dishonest or to make your side look better. Especially these events. (And, no, repeating it doesn’t make it less of a lie.)

You can’t say things that are simply and demonstrably false: health care reform will not push people out of their private insurance and into a government-run program ; health care reform (which contains a good many of your ideas and very few from the Left) is a long way from “socialist utopia”; is not “reparations”; and does not create “death panels”.


You have to condemn those among you who:

Oh, and I’m not alone: One of your most respected and decorated leaders agrees with me.

So, dear conservatives, get to work. Drain the swamp of the conspiracy nuts, the bald-faced liars undeterred by demonstrable facts, the overt hypocrisy and the hatred. Then offer us a calm, responsible, grownup agenda based on your values and your vision for America. We may or may not agree with your values and vision, but we’ll certainly welcome you back to the American mainstream with open arms. We need you.

Update: I’ve cross-posted this at TalkingPointsMemo and Street Prophets. Someone has written a DailyKos diary about it and Lizz Winstead, creator of the Daily Show, and formerly on Air America (She did the morning show with Rachel Maddow and Chuck D when Air America started) put link to my TPM post on her fan page. Apparently this piece has gone viral through Facebook, email and other blogs. This is fun, but — man! — you should read what some people who have never met me but disagree with my post are saying about my character!